There was a brief moment of breath holding. We were both sitting at a patio. Someone I have not seen for many years - how long has it been anyway? 10 years at least, I'm sure. There is a reason we have not seen each other, yet it surprises me a little that we have never run each each other until now.
There was no sign of recognition. No flicker of of the eyes, or a quick turn of the head to follow my progress to the table in the sunny corner. Nothing to show that I was at all familiar. I was ignored and I ignored back.
I read my book, drank my coffee and listened to their conversation. It was not enlightening, nor even remotely interesting. I thought about how I would respond when I got up to leave. Would I be tempted to nudge the chair as I squeezed past? Would my bag accidentally hit a head? Would I stand in front of the table, directly in line of vision and dare to be noticed? Would I deign to speak?
But I realized there was no desire for contact. There was really nothing I wanted to say.
That feeling in the pit of my stomach never actually materialized.
And that felt good.
Except, how could I not be recognized???