Tuesday, August 5, 2008

this day was all about I

I do not particularly like having people do things for me that I am quite capable of doing for myself. I don't mean the opening of doors, or fixing you a meal, or helping you with getting something done. It is the taking over, the "you could never do this unless I come with you" kind of attitude that really gets up my nose.

I've never understood the women - and it is usually women - who voluntarily give up all control of the day-to-day running of their lives. The ones who need to ask for assistance with everything. I feel for the older women who are left widowed and knowing nothing of their financial situation. I don't understand how they could live that way, but I do feel for them.

I have had a day of trying to deal with a friend who likes to do things for you. He isn't looking for thanks, he just likes being helpful. So, ever polite, I allow this every now and then and hold my tongue. He likes to be in charge when he helps. So much so that he doesn't bother with niggly details to "worry your little head about". (not a direct quote, but it could be) And as a result you are left hanging when something goes wrong. He says, "don't worry". Is there a worse phrase when you feel an anxiety attack looming? "I'll take care of everything." Then you don't hear anything for hours. He wants to be a rescuer, yet had it been done together, or at least as you wanted, there'd be nothing to rescue. Had I just done it all myself, I could have spent the day irritated but in control, with all the details, as the problem was fixed.

Postscript: This has now spiralled out of control.


  1. Ugh. I know what ya mean. I'd rather do it myself.

  2. On the other hand, my husband can get irritated with me because I want to do everything myself. I hate asking for help. I also hate when people say "Don't worry about it." I thought I was the only person that found that phrase detestable. I hope you got it all fixed, whatever it was.

  3. Drowsey Monkey: At the moment I am really wishing I had done it myself.

    Geewits: That is why I let my friend 'help'. I don't hate asking for help, but I hate it being pushed on me. You are not alone in finding that phrase detestable.

  4. Oh Yes! That to me is the worst kind of help, because it is not help at all, in the long run.
    I'd rather do it myself....For Sure! (lol)

  5. "Don't worry about it" drives me nuts too.

    Spiraled out of control?


  6. Reason #465 why I love living alone (been in that situation since 1990) and do not ask for help. Even refuse when it's being offered if I know I will get stressed if things don't go my way. I have absolutely no problem in saying no. In fact, I rarely talk about what I want to do exactly for that reason :) but then I don't have many friends with cars lol

    The phrase I hate these days is "breathe Sylvie, breathe". That gets me going even more.

    Hope there isn't too much blood on the carpet/floor for you. Want me to take care of him? lol

  7. I only ask for help when I have exhasted all other means and almost near killed myself in the process - hey that is why i am the mad asthmatic.

    The phrase i hate is "You aren't really well enough to do this" I am not a frigging invalid!!!!! I just happen to have lungs that don't want to work but I am perfectly capable of doing most things albeit in some strange ways.....

    and why do men always seem to think that they are better than women at doing things - argghhh don't get me started.

    Hope you have got the problem fixed, if not retire to balcony with a very alcoholic cocktail and put your feet up and become oblivious to the problem!


  8. UA: must practise the fine art of saying "no, thanks all the same"

  9. MA: I think you got yourself started...
    yes, if I ask, it is because I have also exhausted all other options, or I don't want to waste time exhausting all other options.

    Oblivion is not an option, but that drink sure is.

  10. Jazz; uh oh is right

    Naomi: in the long run, this was very expensive help

  11. I second Jazz’s uh-oh. This is exactly why I avoid (like the plague) situations that may at some point leave me dependant on someone else. This would drive me nuts. I hope you get things resolved without too much bloodshed.


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