Wednesday, June 10, 2009

where I lean off centre


The last time I attended a yoga class, it did not go well. I was in a bad mood when I went (I think it conflicted with something I wanted to watch on tv - I am so shallow sometimes) and I found I was much less flexible and centred than everyone else (not really to my surprise, but I hated having it proven) and left in an even more bad temper, plus feeling very upset at my inadequacies. An after yoga treat of coffee and a scrumptious, freshly baked heated croissant dispelled any more bad thoughts and feelings. I vowed to return for more coffee and croissants after each yoga class. Unfortunately, the class and I did not belong together, the instructor tactlessly truthfully informed me and suggested I attend her beginner's class. This did not conflict with my tv show, but proved to be less 'beginner' and more of a 'let's lay out the mats and stretch'. She also spent a good 15 minutes at the start of each class nattering on about something irrelevant in her life about which I cared not a whit. Not what I had in mind. Which put me in a bad mood. Eventually, I decided I would rather pay to not go to class than pay to be in a bad mood. I just went out for coffee and croissants instead. Coffee and baked goods really help with my moodiness.

For several years though, I did attend a class with a great instructor. It was difficult getting up and being present by 11am - and even more so when she moved the class to 10am - but I faithfully went every Tuesday for at least one 10-week series each year for about 4 years. Which makes you wonder about the other class doesn't it? She later moved out of town and I've never found another good fit. At the end of each session, after having our little nap, relaxation on a mat time, people would often spontaneously describe how they felt, how something that morning was "so powerful". I must admit, I never ever felt the 'power' of yoga. Though I did feel the energy afterwards. And I remember the time (about the 3rd round of the 10-week sessions - so class #33 or thereabouts) when I realized I had been able to stay in position for the entire prescribed time without having to come out of the posture and lower my arms and shake everything up ever so unobtrusively and get back into the posture. Usually, I would focus on a tree outside the huge, loft window and count furiously to take my mind off the at first stinging, then searing, pain in various muscle groups.Sometimes I would fall over. This time, I couldn't even wait for the spontaneous outpouring of gratitude and reflection at the end of the class - I cheered and patted myself on the back immediately, I was so excited. Everyone smiled indulgently and gave me such encouragement. That was 'powerful', I guess.

I've been thinking about returning to yoga. Finding another class and trying once again to regain my balance and centredness.

First I need a pedicure.

23 comments:

  1. I've never been able to get into yoga. Too impatient. I LOVED pilates though -- kind of fast yoga for impatient people. I did that for years. You're so right though - a lot depends on the instructor. I guess if you're searching you must feel like you need yoga in your life again? Me, I'm putting my yoga money into The Villa fund. Now, THAT will be balancing and centering

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  2. XUP: Oh yes, I was also very impatient. And she also taught pilates, which I took, and hated, but it was very good for me. I am thinking of getting myself in shape because I'm also thinking our Villa may be up a big hill and I'll need to get up and down the many steps with potted geraniums on each step that I don't want to knock over if I am 'unbalanced'. Or at least get in and out of the low slung sports car we'll have that I have discovered is very difficult as I gracelessly age. See, I am also planning ahead.

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  3. whenever I try to meditate - bad thoughts come in my head...it's weird. but I need a pedicure too.

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  4. Char: I counted during the meditation part too, to keep my thoughts from running rampant. I don't think I ever got into the letting your mind go blank thing.

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  5. Now I feel completely lazy and intune with my inner cat!

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  6. I do miss yoga but life is so hectic!! ;)
    perhaps I should think on it! Good to come by and see you again - thanks for visiting me, it was appreciated, Katie, x

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  7. I love yoga. I really am more aware and present the days I do yoga than on those I don't . You'd think that feeling that way would make me never miss. But i'll let weeks pass without going and then I'm back at it. Oh the agony of wishywashy!

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  8. I never quite got yoga either. I was not blessed with a very flexible body, so even though my instructors were all very encouraging and kind, I always felt that I didn't really belong. I did like "naptime", though! But I don't need do slow stretches on a mat to get into a meditative state: I spend a lot of time in my head anyway, so I can pretty much meditate anywhere.

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  9. I never tried Yoga. My bad tempered sister in law did it, & it never did anything for her dispostion!
    Love that cat, how cool to be that lithe.

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  10. Violet

    you could try 'body balance'
    which combines tai chi, pilates and yoga -

    Its a fine balance! and you get the great nap, woops relaxation, at the end...

    Happy Days

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  11. All these classes sound wonderful! I can't walk unaided and can only stand, rather badly, unaided for a few minutes. I'm still trying to find a class that will get me fit, thin and lithe with my disabilities!! ;)

    Your accounts of yoga classes gave me a big smile this morning! Just what I needed! :)

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  12. Sagittarian: see how easy it is?

    Rainbow: maybe you could try to squeeze in a ten minute quickie?

    LoLa: yeah, you'd think so, but I often missed a class even knowing how much better I'd feel afterwards...

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  13. Pinklea: I'm not at all flexible - and it got a little embarrassing as the class had the same yoga junkies who came back year after year and they were very, very good, except for me. I don't think "living inside your head" is the same as meditating!! but nice try!

    Meggie: perhaps your SIL needed a more meditative class? I have patients who are that lithe and I almost hate them I am so jealous.

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  14. I've been thinking of yoga on and off for a few years. But I keep thinking I should get more flexible first (yeah, I know...) and I keep remembering my reaction at the end of the tai chi classes I took, where I would stand outside and scream in frustration at the absolute slowness and nothingness of the class.

    But maybe I've mellowed since then.

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  15. Delwyn: In fact there is a tai chi and yoga class in the park that is supposed to be starting soon, I've always thought being outside might be really nice. Wouldn't it be funny if it started last night... no not really.

    Geewits and Gilly: glad I can provide laughs at my expense!!

    and Gilly, there is a show on one of the public television stations here that shows seated tai chi which I sometimes follow along with when I am too tired to move the furniture out of the way.

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  16. Jazz: oh, we could take the classes together and then scream our way to the cafe or bar afterwards! yes, the slowness was frustrating. I've mellowed enough that I crave slowness.

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  17. Not good at meditati....oh, look, there's a hummingbird! The more I try to slow down my mind, the faster it goes. Especially at 3:00 a.m. I've only tried yoga at home with a video. I don't think my body can bend into those contortionistic poses. I do love croissants and coffee, though. My toes could use a pedicure, too. See?

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  18. Susan: we have so much in common!

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  19. Seated tai chi?? Sounds like me! Only I can't get Canadian TV over here :(

    Guess I'll have to eat less!

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  20. I've never got into yoga, either.
    Tried Tai Chi and that didn't do much for me either! Think that I'd rather be writing!

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  21. Gilly: tai chi doesn't help keep one lithe anyway - more's the pity.

    Maggie May: then keep on doing what you enjoy!

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