where I think about my tax return

It has been over 15 years since I worked in an office, or had a regular 9-5 job.

Which suits me just fine.

Though, I could probably use a bit more structure in my life.

(ya think?!)

And ever since I went back to school, then started working on my own, I have used someone had an accountant to help with my accounting and - most importantly - do my taxes.

I have had a few different people in this capacity. The last guy I had came by on April 30 (the last day to file your income taxes) and waltzed into my place, opened up his laptop and immediately started inputting figures. Then says, triumphantly, you owe $XXX.

blink.

(I didn't bat my eyelashes - I blinked, I doubt he would have noticed anyway as he never once made eye contact and barely looked up from his precious laptop.)

"No, I shouldn't owe anything. I should be getting a refund."

My mind frantically searching for ... something.

I was so incredibly tired as I'd been up all night working and spent the previous day organizing and adding and re-adding all my receipts and info.

Then, I remembered a few facts he hadn't asked, since he hadn't asked anything. What about my car? my massage table? and and and

"Oh, you have a massage table?"

blink.

How does he think I do my massages??

Finally, we get it sorted and I get my refund amount, and he leaves.

All in all it took about 15 minutes of his precious time.

Then, last year, I found a new 'tax person'. She came by my place, opened up a notepad and immediately started writing stuff down and asked for the previous years' return. She made some strangled noises while reading it.

blink.

Several sighs later and many, many questions later, she left armed with figures and I was given instructions to add to those figures. Days later, when we met again, I was severely admonished for not taking advantage of the many write-offs I was entitled. "Didn't you buy lightbulbs?" "Where are your receipts for toilet paper?"

"I forgot....."

"You won't forget next year, will you?"

Since I was a little behind, she was actually working on '06 (I was so not interested in getting that other guy back....) and we both knew she wouldn't have time to get to '07 before April 30th.

Then she drops this bombshell.

"It doesn't matter, because you don't actually have to file until September, since you are self-employed."

blink.

Why did nobody ever tell me this?

So for over a dozen years, I have fretted and gotten headaches and stomachaches and crawled under the covers in fear and loathing every April 30th and I didn't even need to file yet?!

I'm heading for my local public house for a drink. It'll probably be quiet in there tonight.

And I'll save the receipt.