Friday, October 17, 2008

neighbours

There are 12 apartments on each floor in my building. For a few years we were a group of 12 single women. What are the odds? The pet of choice was overwhelmingly the cat. Six cats to one puppy. Two of my neighbours were very close friends and were always at each other's doors for a chat. They stayed in the hall for some reason and one of the ladies, Helen, had a rather booming voice. It went well with her opinions, of which she had many and was not shy to share. You always knew where you were with Helen. When Helen and Joyce were having one of their gabfests, doors would open (often mine first as they were right in front of my door) and soon Audrey would join in with her stage ready voice. Once Ursula came out well, much laughter ensued. Sometimes, Verna would pop her head out to say we were too loud, but would stay to see what the gossip was. Lorna would appear at the end of the hall, with her cat Timmy who followed her everywhere. People would get off the elevator and join in. If Catherine was nearby she'd have pictures from her latest trip which might include paragliding, or sailing. Serena would regale us with tales of woe from her job as a flight attendant for the now defunct Canadian Airlines. Her kitten (I forget his name) and Abby would venture out and we'd watch as Timmy cautiously wandered down the hall from his end and (let's call him Felix, for want of a name) would romp up and down the carpet sometimes with the puppy, Oscar, at his end of the hall. Abby would be in the middle, eventually wandering down to meet Timmy. Felix would watch to see if he needed to hide from flying fur. But the rest of us knew that Abby and Timmy had a long distance attraction. They would gaze at each other through the railings of our balconies. Of course, for that to happen, Abby would have to crawl over to Verna's balcony. Which she did with astonishing regularity. She always found a way to get around or under the solid divider that separated Verna's and my balcony to sit by the railing at the other end. For hours the two cats would sit and face each other quietly. Helen didn't approve of this. Her cats never left her apartment, not even for the balcony. She thought I was very negligent and that I would pay for my negligence by finding my cat on the ground one day. I must say, it was unnerving to see her peering over the edge with her front paws dangling, watching whatever was going on below. But she was perfectly safe and perfectly content.

Nowadays, I am the oldest (as in years of living here) tenant on our floor with Catherine and Ellie living here 2 years less than me. Helen had lived here since the building was built in 1964. She and Verna and Ursula and Audrey have all passed away. Joyce and Lorna have moved away. And Catherine has been on an extended holiday for much of the year. There have been several changes and the new tenants aren't nearly as friendly. No one seems connected. The laughter has gone, as has the gossip. Sometimes we will meet in the hall and barely a word will pass. Many times we will meet in the elevator and not even know that we are neighbours. The pet of choice has become the dog. But that is another post.

22 comments:

  1. Growing up in the country and then living in suburbs has always made indoor hi-rise apartment living seem very exotic and exciting to me. I'm sure I'm not cut out for it though. When I'm nervous, which is always, I make goofy little jokes and silly small talk. I imagine my neighbors would tell their friends, "I was in the elevator again with that weird redhead. I think she's a stand-up comic, but I can't imagine she makes much money at it."

    I hope your floor gets friendly again. Maybe you should have a little party.

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  2. Geewits: you'd certainly be cut out for it - you'd provide an endless source of speculation and amusement.

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  3. It is strange that you should do a post on this subject as I was thinking about something similar last night. I moved to my current home just over a year ago and while it is a terrace house rather than in an apartment building I have only exchanged brief hellos to my neighbours.

    I remember when I was younger and we moved that while we were moving in neighbours popped round with offers of help and were often popping round just to say hello once we were settled. Is it me or has life become to busy for this to happen. Whatever the reason I think it would be nice if the pace of life could slow down. wishful thinking on my part me thinks but it would be nice.

    MA

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  4. I guess the good old days can never be repeated. It's a shame that people aren't as friendly these days, probably down to just being vigilante and cautious.

    CJ xx

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  5. I wish our neighborhood was like your floor used to be. I've been living here for all my life (46 years and counting) and except for a small (very small) handfull of neighbors, who've been there for 20 years+, people hardly look at each other and extracting the occasional "hello" or even just a brief eye contact and subsequent nod seems like a monumental task. Gotta love social skills and us socialites. Have a great and "cool" weekend and enjoy wearing your beautiful sweater ;-)

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  6. MA: and I thought that only happened on television! I never moved as a child and neither did most of our neighbours so I missed out on those niceties.

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  7. CJ: cautious and texting! and perhaps indifferent.

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  8. Mr Jazz: When I moved in here I almost thought I'd found the perfect location. I'd never lived anywhere where I'd met so many people - some of whom I never learned their names or what floor they lived on, but knew them to say hello. Now, like you say, it is a monumental task to meet eye contact.

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  9. sucks. I went a bt loopy when I lived in shared flat because i'd come from living in the country.I am back out in the villages thank goodness and feel better for it.

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  10. Wow, that sounds awesome. When I moved in with Mr. Jazz 20 years ago, I started saying hi to the 2nd floor neighbor next door every time I saw her. It took her 15 years to answer back.

    Then I just stopped trying.

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  11. I liked reading this. In Australia not too many people live in apartments.... it's very much houses or units, so we don't have neighbours living just outside the front door.

    What a shame that times have changed for you. You made it sound like so much fun!

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  12. Its the same if you live in a street or a block of flats, people are not so friendly as they used to be. Great pity. Everyone seems in a hurry these days and of course there is all that blogging to do!
    Thanks for visiting me. I like your blog.

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  13. Hagelrat: I don't think I could live out in the country, but village life intrigues me - so long as I was within walking distance of the shops and the all important coffee shop (and, of course a good pub!)

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  14. Jazz: I had that experience with two different next door neighbours (as in two different addresses). Both times I think it was a language issue, but I really only wanted to say 'hi'. Some home baking at Chinese New Year would have been nice, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

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  15. Froggie: I remember noticing that when I was in Melbourne. And all the houses had high hedges or fences surrounding them.

    Maggie May: Yes, I don't think it is coincidental that all of the people I mentioned (save Serena) were quite a bit older.

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  16. That's kind of melancholy. I lived in a neighborhood when I forst moved to this town that had regular neighborhood get-togethers and most everyone knew each other. The two families who were the promary organizers moved away and it just never re-kindled. I always found that a little sad.

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  17. That’s sad. I’d love to live in a community like yours used to be. People move around too much these days to form those kind of relationships – they take a lot of time. Maybe when all us bloggers get really old we can move into a retired bloggers community and reminisce about blog posts of yesteryear...

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  18. Citizen: Very. What's needed is a strong personality and consistency.

    XUP: Granted, this didn't happen ALL the time - we could also go weeks without seeing each other. But it never happens now.

    I like the idea of a bloggers retirement village.

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  19. Great post!

    We go through this too in my building. Not many people talk to one another. Nature of the beast.

    I don't really like spending a lot of time talking to someone in the hallway, I need to sit :) but there are a few people who will stop for a short chat when we meet in the elevators and walk towards our respective units. And of course there are the boys, who live across the hall. So it's a nice mix of the two...

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  20. UA: there are some people where a short hall chat is enough. Then again, I don't live very high and I'm right next to the elevator, which doesn't give much time for more than a breathless "hello how are you, don't bother answering I'm getting off now, see ya"

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  21. People just aren't as neighborly as they used to be.

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  22. Whim: it does seem to be a universal attitude. so sad.

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