Friday, October 15, 2010

sitting one out

There was a brief moment of breath holding. We were both sitting at a patio. Someone I have not seen for many years - how long has it been anyway? 10 years at least, I'm sure. There is a reason we have not seen each other, yet it surprises me a little that we have never run each each other until now.
There was no sign of recognition. No flicker of of the eyes, or a quick turn of the head to follow my progress to the table in the sunny corner. Nothing to show that I was at all familiar. I was ignored and I ignored back.
I read my book, drank my coffee and listened to their conversation. It was not enlightening, nor even remotely interesting. I thought about how I would respond when I got up to leave. Would I be tempted to nudge the chair as I squeezed past? Would my bag accidentally hit a head? Would I stand in front of the table, directly in line of vision and dare to be noticed? Would I deign to speak?
But I realized there was no desire for contact. There was really nothing I wanted to say.
That feeling in the pit of my stomach never actually materialized.
And that felt good.

Except, how could I not be recognized???


  1. Meh, there are times like that. I've "met" people where total ignorance of the other ensued on both sides. I think there are reasons for that. And it's ok. You move on.

  2. You have described this situation very well.

    As long as you have peace with this person then there possibly isn't any need for contact.

  3. Maybe they were also pretending not to recognize?

  4. Maybe you just looked SO MUCH BETTER ten years later that this person honestly didn't recognize you ... or maybe they now need glasses and are too vain to wear them.

  5. Oh yes! I am sure you were recognized!!
    One of those "hmmmmm" moments!!!

  6. Perhaps he could plead early on-set senility?

  7. ahh yes, i've had that moment too.

    i think he was pretending too

  8. How could I not be recognized, I thought the same thing the other day.
    Your post was so well written evoking past memories. hugs.

  9. Well said! I loved the "I ignored back"

    Obviously you looked absolutely wonderful - and he didn't recognise you!

    But maybe he did!

  10. He just simply was a clodhopper and not worth it. Good riddance.

  11. Gail: thanks!

    Jazz: I actually moved on years ago, I just hadn't faced it until now.

    Robyn: oh, I don't know about peace... though maybe a quiet resignation

    SAW: maybe, but there really wasn't any sign of recognition and I could not have been missed, being directly in line of vision (unintentionally, I might add)

    Pinklea: I LIKE your way thinking!

    Saj: apparently, only on my part!

  12. SueAnn: hmmmm, indeed - it obviously had me thinking!

    LGS: I remembered while mulling this over, that there was always a bit of disconnectedness with the outside world

    Char: quite possibly. then again, I was the one hard done by....

    Cinner: thanks. sorry about the past memories!

    Gilly: sometimes we are not as important to others as we think we should be

    Nora: good riddance, indeed. thanks for always checking in on me!

  13. You were recognized or there would have been at least a moment of drawn eyebrows, a little flicker of ?. If there was nothing you were recognized. You handled it well. Good job!

  14. I am so glad to learn that there are others with the same highly developed interpersonal skills as myself :-)

  15. Very well written! Hmmm. I'm not sure how I would have handled that situation. I think you handled it well.

  16. been there! the relief is good, but the ignore is somehow... bloody.

  17. I've had similar incidents and have responded as you did, and not felt bad for so doing.


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