'Visions of My Mind'

Some people will find you and inspire you.

Lloyd Bradbury is one of those people.



Lloyd's Art Info: March 2008

peanut butter days

I know what it is I have to do.

The sun is shining, the lake is shimmering, the door is open and the curtain gently blowing in the breeze.

Yet, somehow I cannot make myself do it. I cannot make myself do anything.

For several days (or weeks, actually, if I were to be completely honest) I have been living within myself. Within my pyjamas. They are comfy enough for lounging in so if I absolutely do not have to go anywhere I will not bother getting dressed. If there is still peanut butter in the house and bread to put it on (soft, fresh light rye) I do not need to eat anything else.

It starts with a craving. Then extends to beyond the craving to simple inertia.

A little while ago I was reading another blogger who referred to her "peanut butter days" and I sat up immediately and thought: that is me, that describes my days right now. Her meaning of peanut butter days was different than mine, but I have had those kinds of peanut butter days, too. Oh my, yes. Scary, frustrating, impotent, totally stressful crunchy peanut butter days. But this, this is more like smooth peanut butter days. Pure comfort food.

I know that if I force myself to go for a walk I will feel better. If I phone a friend and meet up for coffee or a stroll through the gardens I may feel refreshed. I sometimes do that. And I do feel better. Alive. But it is a fleeting feeling. It lasts moments, then suddenly I am wearied of it all. I fake the gaiety. The smile becomes forced. I start to become impatient, and slightly ill-tempered. I long to get away. To be home. To be alone. How to explain this? How to deal with the fact that this company, this activity which had been enjoyable moments ago is now, inexplicably, overwhelmingly burdensome.

So, if she will allow me to borrow her phrase... I have read her posts (all of them by now, although I have not commented on any - I will, sometime) and I have read of the horror that she has gone through. The pain that she still endures.

What I am going through is no horror. It is not even really painful. It is ... spiritless.

These are my peanut butter days.

ASIC.CA | Live Peregrine Falcon Video Feed - Etobicoke Ontario Canada

ASIC.CA Live Peregrine Falcon Video Feed - Etobicoke Ontario Canada

(This is the best cam)

how I lost my thrift

Way back, in the mists of my financially strapped younger days, I used to keep a budget. It was very detailed. I had a cost breakdown on each bowl of cereal. I paid cash for everything. I thought about and debated almost every purchase two, three times before actually completing the sale. It was considered practically a sin to return an item. I knew to the penny how much was in my bank account on any given day. This was before such amenities as direct deposit, prepaid bills, and ATMs. It was much easier then to budget and be thrifty.

Somehow, I lost my thrift.

I have a credit card. I use my debit card for almost all my purchases that aren't business related. Pretty much every store takes credit or debit. Even Tim Hortons has a card. One could easily get by without ever using cash. It is now easier than ever to spend money without knowing whether you actually have any money.

I have steady employment and money that magically appears in my bank account every two weeks. Just as magically, it goes out of my account at regular intervals to pay all my bills. Anything not covered by the prepaid option can easily be paid on the internet or over the phone. I never have to actually hand over any cash, write a cheque, or fill out a deposit/withdrawal form. Heck, I never even have to deal with a teller. Or a CSR. And, worst yet, my bank doesn't even send out monthly statements anymore. You must access your account on the internet to check your balance or account activites.

That is how I lost my thrift.

I lost touch with cash. Literally and figuratively.

a sunny day on mars

As if The Weather Channel doesn't have enough to cope with, we can now get daily weather reports from Mars courtesy of Mars Phoenix Lander. You can read Bob McDonald's (CBC's Quirks & Quarks) take on this here.

So, today, a travellers forecast for Mars includes a high of -30 with winds light to moderate at 22km/h from the northeast. Not much blowing sand will get in your way, but dress warmly for the evening as temps will dip to -80.

"everyone loves Marineland"

There are many 'signs' of summer that come our way every late spring: certain flowers, greenery, humidity. In these parts the final sign is the re-emergence of the theme song (one of the many versions) from MarineLand in Niagara Falls. A crescendo of enthusiasm on TV and radio playing up to sometimes every seven minutes.

Now, common sense would say that this would be as annoying as all get out (and it likely will be before Labour Day),

yet strangely, it always makes me happy.

Never been there, though. This song is enough for me.

driving merrily along...

I love the sunroof in my new car. It lets in so much light. And air. It's fun to wave to people raising one arm UP out the top window instead of dangerously out the side window towards closely passing objects, like streetcars, or cyclists. It also creates a bit more noise which requires me to crank up the music very loud.

You should however, be very careful about what you store in the back seat when you are driving with the sunroof open. Mostly, it should be okay. But if the stop and go traffic suddenly goes, and you proceed without much thought, well, cyclonic action can happen.

To the people driving behind me on the highway earlier, I apologize for the fireworks of brightly coloured tissue paper.

Monday AMuse

someecards

A HIGH Shout Out to Andrew Brash

Congratulations to Andrew Brash of Calgary on his successful climb to the summit of Mt Everest.

You may remember him as the climber who aborted his previous attempt in 2006 only 200 metres from the summit when he encountered fellow climber Lincoln Hall who had reached the summit but on his descent had succumbed to cerebral edema and was left for dead by the rest of his party. Andrew was hailed a hero for helping get Lincoln Hall off the mountain alive.

This time, his climb was almost aborted due to restrictions on climbers by Nepal surrounding the Olympic Torch Summit.

On his blog he announced on Friday, 23 May, "the summit was cold and windy, as was most of the climb".

tips for the unwashed

For your reading pleasure I present the following Allure article.

Read the comments, too, to realize how many of us have been doing this oh so wrong.



Now, if you'll excuse me........