Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Jean was happy

From Becoming Human by Jean Vanier:

No one individual, no one group is superior to others. We may be different in race, culture, religion, and capacities, but we are all the same, with vulnerable hearts, the need to love and be loved, the need to grow, to develop our capacities, and to find our place in the world. We all need to find our selves of value. We are all the same because throughout our lives we have, every one of us, been hurt in one way or another.

Jean Vanier believes that society's fear of people with disabilities is rooted deep in the human psyche. Every young couple, he has said, is frightened that their child will have a handicap.

Many of the people who live in L'Arche are severely disabled; many need help with the most basic human functions. The foundation of L'Arche is the idea of 'living with' and not just 'doing for' people with diminished mental capacities. The paid carers and volunteers live as a family with those who are disabled. The first L'Arche was a single home for just two mentally disabled men. There are now 130 L'Arche communities around the world for about 2,500 people with all sorts of disabilities - people who might otherwise have been left in institutions or on the streets begging.

"The particular thing about many people with disabilities is that they cry out for relationship," Mr. Vanier says. "They're not crying out for power or success. They say, 'Do you believe I'm a person, that I have value?' If a child comes in here, that child can transform us by looking up and saying, 'Do you love me?' The child brings down our defense mechanisms and our barriers, and touches something deep within us. In people with disabilities there is something similar. It touches us and opens us up to something new."

"Weakness becomes our strength. Because when I say I'm weak, I say I need you. Weakness can be beautiful because it can bring us together in community."

"The sign of being human is to be a friend to the weak person. There's something in the history of humanity that shows being human is to care for the weak, the fragile."
Mr. Vanier founded L'Arche more than 40 years ago in the small French town of Trosly, where he still lives and from where he still travels the world visiting communities and encouraging new projects, giving lectures and retreats.

And today Jean Vanier turns 80.

A story:

Mr. Vanier: Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I was sitting in my office and there was a man who was a bit glum like a lot of people, a bit glum. And but, anyway, there was a knock on the door. And before I could say "Come in" Jean Claude walked in and Jean Claude technically would be Down Syndrome. And Jean Claude shook my hand and laughed, and shook the hand of the other fellow and laughed and went out laughing. And the man that had been in my office looked at me and said, "Isn't it sad, children like that?" And I mean, he, what was sad was that he was totally blind. He didn't see that Jean Claude was happy.

14 comments:

  1. It's perfectly natural to abhor people with any sort of diminished capacity. We were once simple animals and all simple animals kill or cast out any of their species that they consider not up to standard. The two strongest instincts are self-survival and survival of the species. Intellectually, at this advanced stage in our existence, we know that these people will not diminish our gene pool, but the natural animal part of our brain is still affected. People like Jean Vanier are just more highly evolved.

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  2. It's so true how our thinking has evolved about people with disabilities. In many parts of the world they are still abhorred.

    I appreciate the timeliness of this post for 9/11, which I've been thinking about myself and how to focus on our commonalities and not our differences. We are afraid of what we don't understand.

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  3. A wonderful post about an amazing man - Happy Birthday Jean Vanier :)

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  4. He is a wise man. I can't believe he's 80 already.

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  5. What a lovely post today. I was especially drawn to that part:

    "Weakness becomes our strength. Because when I say I'm weak, I say I need you. Weakness can be beautiful because it can bring us together in community."

    It is soooo true. Society do not like weakness, people don't want to appear weak because they are afraid of being cast aside and they feel diminished. So difficult to change that way of thinking.

    I confess I don't know about the guy but I will definitely check him out. Thanks again for the beautiful and thought provoking post.

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  6. What UA says about society not liking weakness is too true. But sometimes admitting a weakness is actually a strength.

    I had heard of Jean Varnier but didn't know that much about him, will be doing some more reading, but have to agree that he is indeed a wise man.

    MA

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  7. MA, I agree with you that it's a strength, definitely. I totally believe that. Problem is that a large percentage of society doesn't. Overall it makes very little difference to my life but it does sadden me when I see someone burning themselves to the ground because they won't ask for help.

    violetsky, I requested the book from the library. I'm looking forward to reading it.

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  8. I love that little story at the end. I have a frined whose toddler granddaughter has Down's, and she told me the little girl just makes everyone she encounters smile becaus eshe is so happy and affectionate.

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  9. Disability is just a perception. There is the norm and then there are a lot of people outside of that norm on both ends of the spectrum. They all have their purpose and we can learn a lot from them. A very nice tribute Violetsky.

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  10. geewits: And he is an inspiration, so willing to help us try to learn compassion, difficult as it can be.

    Ruth: I tried volunteering at Daybreak, but found it very difficult to handle. I admit I was disappointed in myself, but I was still perhaps too young and inexperienced to understand.

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  11. Katie: thanks, and many happy returns to Mr Vanier!

    Jazz: He is, and it was so thrilling to read about him in the paper and realize that, yes, he is still alive! He was a big part of my spiritual life in the late 70's and early 80's.

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  12. UA: Thanks. And I hope you enjoy writings.

    MA: I agree that it takes strength to admit a weakness. And I have found that I feel that much closer to people when they reveal some vulnerablity.

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  13. COTW: yes, I loved that bit too, so had to include it! I used to have a friend with a Down's son and I remember being at a picnic with his play group and how the kids would spontaneously come up to give you hugs, just because. I lost touch with them and have often wondered how things were for him as he became a teenager.

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  14. XUP: Thank you. We can learn more than we ever realize, if we are open and have the patience with our own and their limitations.

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